Love Letter : to Past Self & Spirit Daughters
I am sending my Super-Powered badass love back in time 20 years to my sad self and to Spirit Daughters doubting their value or voice with this message!
So much of my life I felt at loose ends - Wondering - What's the Point?
In my 30's I can remember me walking around on the NYC subway platforms with tears streaming down my face, not really caring if anyone could see my distress. No one said anything - I felt invisible, unloved, worthless to the world. I blended into a faceless grey crowd going about their business lost in their own lives.
I am thanking the Divine, God-dess, Supremely intelligent Energy of the Universe for me having enough strength and wisdom for not giving in to the lies that were feeding this despair. The feelings of wanting to die had a certain wisdom but not in the literal releasing of my physical being. My inner critic had become the serial killer of my tender dreaming creative consciousness and loving-of-this-precious-life self. But these two have been unwilling to die and instead have continually sent signals of suffering - and in misguided ideas of externalized worth - I thought my pain was my penance for believing that I was unlovable and that my gifts to the world were worthless. The PAIN we have suffered is a result of us honoring and focusing upon these noxious beliefs - allowing them permanent residence in our hearts and psyches - so much that we starve ourselves of the light of love of ourselves, of our lives and the world. Time to kick out this creepy bum of an inner critic - tell him/her/it to get OUT until it starts treating you and your gifts with respect!
Our lives are not about Us - they are not about feeding our hungry ego/never-satisfied Inner Critic, that part of self that is always driving us to believe we are never enough, that we are competing for a ever-diminishing supply of Love like rag-pickers and bone collectors of the days of old calling out for scraps - drifting dark, foggy streets ever seeking attention and sustenance from others - in this way we hold ourselves victims of our lives - rather than the true HERO-ines that we are!
It has taken me way too many years that my life and my experience are not primarily to be lived for my benefit alone but as an act of loving connection not only to ourselves but to every soul that witnesses us whether in person, digitally, in written form, or any other way we leave our energetic imprints - now and into the future. I don't want you to wait 20 more years - learn from MY mistakes!
As I deepen into that knowing - I realize what a silly and even harmful injustice it has been to myself and to those who are hungry for light, love and beauty - to hoard and suppress my natural creativity. We never know exactly who, where, or when or how those who need of our gifts will receive them. But to be sure they will be deprived of them as long as fiddle around moping in fake fears of worthlessness, hopelessness, meaninglessness which prevent us shining in our natural lights and gifts.
We must stop hiding dear One.
For the love of God-dess, Open up in the quiet of loving
knowing that you are many gifts to this world!
Be This my dear one! Create from this place - tap into peace through some type of meditative/reflective practice - and implement a daily creative practice - just to share with others - I am an admin to two different circles on Insight Timer and will be starting my own where you could just share funny inspiring thougnts/insights, if you want so wish to have a place to share and receive support and appreciation - not offering fame or fortune there - that is up to destiny and your willingness to come out of hiding.
Promise me to print this out and keep it in a safe place to read when you need to be reminded of how beautiful you are in every way, shape and form to me and to the world.
And put this song on repeat and imagine me singing this to you my dearest spirit-daughter -
This post was originally inspired and written to my first Spirit Daughter - She knows who she is : )